“It’s a (More Meaningful,) Wonderful Life” When You Know You’ve Made a Difference

Thanking of You

Do you recall the most meaningful gift the temporarily down-heartened George Bailey received in the movie “It’s a Wonderful Life?”

Was it a designer jacket that perfectly complemented his sparkling eyes?

Was it the new luxury car he’d been admiring all year long?

Could George Bailey’s most valued gift possibly have been showcased within 30 seconds of commercial air time today?  Possibly.  Maybe.

That lasting, most profound gift of a lifetime bestowed upon a suicidal Mr. George Bailey of Bedford Falls back on Christmas Eve, 1946 was the gift of discovering the profound, lasting impact he’d had on the lives of others during his lifetime.

George Bailey’s selfless and understated contributions to the members of his family and his community had far-reaching ripple effects.  Purely by virtue of his good nature and integrity he’d unwittingly helped beautifully shape the lives of generations–lives that could have been squashed if left solely to the influence of, say, the selfish slumlord Mr. Potter.

George Bailey lives on in the spirits of real people we encounter every day.  Perhaps a handful are also feeling down-heartened this season–who among us really knows?  What we do know is that those people who’ve touched our lives in lasting, positive ways deserve to know it.  They deserve–and maybe even need–to discover when, how and to whom they’ve made a difference and why it still matters today.

Not so sure the concept really holds any weight?  Count how many times this Christmas classic airs this month, 65 years later than the date in which this impactful drama was set.  Watch it yourself and examine your own response with honesty.

During this season of giving consider posting your story/ies of gratitude (message/s of thanks) at www.ThankingOfYou.com, in written or video form, to recognize, affirm and honor the gifts of those who’ve made a difference in your life.  Detail the direct effects of their gifts to you and how you’ve opened those gifts again and anew for all they were worth at different stages throughout your life.

Recall the contributions of a family member, old (or new) friend, mentor, teacher, charitable organization, spiritual leader, and/or even a stranger.  Reach out with the gifts of a lifetime–the gifts of self-discovery that only you can give–for those people on your gift gratitude list this season.

Go ahead.  You have my permission and my blessing.  Re-gift.

You’re amazing; now go be yourself,
Nora

Nora Firestone is a freelance news reporter in Hampton Roads, Virginia.  ThankingOfYou.com is the free Web-based forum for posting and receiving stories of gratitude (messages of thanks) for the people who’ve made a difference in our lives.  Who have you been meaning to thank?  Who on Earth has been Thanking of You?  Gratitude affirms life.  Express yours at ThankingOfYou.com

Thanks, Giving and the Value of it All

Thanking of You

If someone bestowed upon you this wish, May you receive in life one-hundred times what you’ve given to others, would you consider it a blessing or a curse?

Most of the gifts for which we can be most thankful throughout a lifetime aren’t tangible at all.  Don’t be ashamed if you can’t cram lavish gifts into your budget this holiday season.  Instead, bestow the gifts which, if you were to receive them in-turn one-hundred-fold, you’d be proud and very blessed.

You’re amazing,
Nora

Nora Firestone is the founder of ThankingOfYou.com, the Web-based forum for posting and receiving stories of gratitude (messages of thanks) for the people who’ve made a difference in our lives.  Who have you been meaning to thank?  Who on Earth has been Thanking of You?  Gratitude affirms life.  Express yours at ThankingOfYou.com

Oprah’s Lifeclass; @ Harel from Israel

Thanking of You

Oprah Winfrey said it herself:

We all want to know we’re appreciated.
“People just want to be seen and heard, and everybody wants to know that ‘they matter.’”

That particular Oprah’s Lifeclass conversation began with a reference to Wednesday’s Lifeclass with guest Toni Morrison and segued into a Skype call from Harel, a young Israeli man, who told Oprah and co-host Iyanla Vanzant the following:

“As I’m going through my spiritual evolution, I realize there was one thought, one belief, that was keeping me back and holding me back.

“And the belief is, your life is small and insignificant.

“And this belief I think is why I’m looking for external validation; why I’m looking for acceptance and approval from other people.

“So my question for you, teachers of the world, is, ‘How do I move away from that, knowing intellectually this isn’t true, and how do I validate myself?’”

Obviously moved, Oprah read his original question to producers, which contained, “I’m waiting for someone to hold my face, look me in the eye and say, ‘You are not just a small-town boy with no name.  Your life does matter.’”

Stage to screen, Iyanla asked Harel to “give me your face, c’mon . . .

“Look at me, look, look, look; can you see me?” she asked him.  Then she declared, in no uncertain terms, “You matter.

“You matter.

“You are not just an insignificant small-town little boy.  You matter.  And this ocean of life would not be the same without the drop of life that you are.   You matter.  You matter just as you are.  You matter.“

Harel took a moment, apparently to digest this morsel of sustenance.  Oprah asked how it felt to have his face virtually “caressed.”

“I think if you want someone to validate you it has to be someone you can believe is telling the truth,” he said.  “So, as far as Iyanla is concerned, I believe.”

Oprah and Iyanla proposed that being of service to others is the best way to demonstrate that one can and does “matter” in the fabric of life.

“What matters most” however, “is that you understand that it matters,” Oprah clarified.  “But the question isn’t how do I become significant; the questions is, how do I serve.

“If you want to know that you matter to somebody you gotta figure out a way to give.”

Harel already does, as he works with people with disabilities, he said.  Oprah and Iyanla know he matters, simply by virtue of the fact that his creator gave him a place in this world.  Scores of Lifeclass participants chimed in via Facebook to confirm and affirm.  And none of us even know Harel!  Imagine the power infused in just one single heartfelt, detailed story of gratitude (message of thanks) delivered to him by someone who actually does know him.  Someone who knows exactly when, how and to whom Harel has “mattered” and why it made a difference?  Perhaps a mother, father, brother, sister or friend of one of the people whose lives Harel touches everyday?

As Harel told Oprah, it’s important that the affirmation or validation is genuine and comes from a trusted source.   In every delivery of a heartfelt message of gratitude there’s only one trusted source: the person delivering it.  Only that person can detail the immeasurable value of another’s contribution as it uniquely pertains to his/her own life.  That’s not to say that a million people can’t thank the same person for the same contribution; rather it’s to reiterate the fact that the ways in which we matter to others are as unique and varied as the individuals involved in the exchange.

In other words, we all matter.  We’re all making a difference in the lives of others every day.  The choice about what kind of difference and how we will matter is ours.  The effects of our contributions, though, we cannot accurately and completely predict.  And it’s only in the detailed expression of gratitude–sometimes even years later–that one can ever discover when, how and to whom he or she has made a difference, and why it mattered.

Thank you, Oprah and Iyanla, for facilitating a great discussion.

Thank you, Harel, for a most important call.  Harel, I have a place where you will “matter” more than you can imagine if you’re up for giving a little bit more of your fabulous self on behalf of people worldwide who deserve to know they make a difference.  Please contact me.

You’re amazing, now go be yourself,
Nora

People come and go in a lifetime, often never knowing the lasting, positive impact they’ve had on another.  Who have you been meaning to thank?  Who on Earth might be Thanking of You?  Gratitude affirms life.  Express yours at www.ThankingOfYou.com 

Nora Firestone is a wife, mother, daughter, sister, freelance journalist and founder of ThankingOfYou.com, the Web-based forum for posting and receiving stories of gratitude (messages of thanks) for the people who’ve made a difference in our lives.  You may contact her directly at (757) 705-7174 (calls only; no text messages) or at nfirestone@verizon.net

The Internal Call to “Make a Difference” is Driven by the Echo of Gratitude

Thanking of You

How many times this week will you hear the call to “make a difference”?  Now, perhaps more than ever, the concept’s broadcast loud and clear on television, radio, in print and as the underlying tone for positive movements worldwide. 

At the core of the concept stands the fact that the desire to be “making a difference” in the lives of others is a powerful motivator–often much more powerful than money, fame or most any other tangible or intangible incentive.  Just ask any volunteer or nonprofit staff. 

People need to know they’re making a difference in the world around them; they need to understand the value of their strengths, the gifts they’ve given to others without even realizing it and their lasting influences in the lives of others.  When people answer the call to make a difference they’re calling out–albeit often quietly, humbly and sometimes even anonymously–to be known to someone for making a difference.

Naturally, therefore, helping people to discover when, how and to whom they’re making that difference and why it’s mattered has the power to add immeasurable value to their lives in return.

The older, wiser and more experienced we become, the more relevance this fully-fleshed concept has to our individual lives–either as people with the desire to express gratitude for those who’ve made a difference in our lives or as people with the desire to discover how we’ve made that difference.  The fantastic perpetual nature of the virtue of gratitude keeps the two spinning in alignment, as 1: the more we focus on that/whom for which we’re grateful, the stronger and more relevant the contributions of the original goodness grow within our own lives and 2: the genuine, detailed expression of such gratitude often re-fuels the recipients with fresh perspectives for self-discovery and affirmation of “life’s purpose,” inspiring a continuum of that goodness for the benefit of others–and, ironically and paradoxically, for their own benefits as well.

Hence my longtime proposal that “gratitude is the most sustainable and renewable of all human resources.”  Do yourself an organic favor: cultivate it and harvest it often.  Reflect upon the contributions of those for whom you’re grateful and share the bounty of your epiphanies with them, either privately, by phone or note, or publicly, in a forum such as ThankingOfYou.com, where they can receive it even if you don’t have their contact information.  Either way, the point is to thank them by highlighting the details that tell them what they want to know: Have I made a lasting, positive difference to someone, somewhere, at some time; and how?

Two-Minute Power Meeting: Brief visualization and reflection (once daily is better than once ever!) . . .

        Where in your world do you want to “make a difference”?

        Why do you want to “make a difference”?

        How will you begin to make that difference today?

Post your comments here to share your realizations.  Consider reflecting on who’s made a difference in your life, as well.  Share that by posting a story of gratitude to them for all the world to see at ThankingOfYou.com.    (Consider thanking charitable organizations, too.)

Quick updates:   
Cheryl Tan of WAVY 10 News (our local NBC affiliate) aired a great segment about ThankingOfYou.com this month on the Hampton Roads Show!  Here’s the link to the segment online: http://www.wavy.com/dpp/hr_show/wildcard_118/problem-Thanking-of-you

     Thank you to Cathy Lewis and the crew at public radio WHRV’s HearSay for showcasing Shoot for Good and ThankingOfYou.com October 4!  Great experience with one of the best in broadcast radio! 

You’re amazing, now go be yourself,
Nora

Who have you been meaning to thank?  Who on Earth might be Thanking of You?

Real vs. Temporary: Gratitude for Lasting Friendships

By Cheyenne Grimstead
Teen correspondent

One of the main issues in high school is keeping friends. Besides people choosing to go their separate ways, things happen. Some people are meant to be a lifelong friend, while some are only temporary. When there’s a friend who you can really call your “best friend,” you need to tell them how much you appreciate them.

I have a very good friend who I met in 7th grade. Now we’re in 10th, and still the best of friends. We consider each other cousins and call each other’s moms “aunt.” What makes her different is that she doesn’t like drama (with girls) and she doesn’t do or say anything to involve herself in any. She’s more focused on her school work, artwork, and few close friends that she has.

Some people, even in the adult world, have few close friends as a consequence. Others, like me and my best friend, have few close friends by choice. You can’t trust everyone you speak to. You also have to be your own person. You can’t be the type to let what someone says effect your thinking and how you react to a situation. You have a brain for a reason: to think and make decisions for yourself.

Some friends make you think twice about why you have them as “friends.” But when you have that one friend who’s always there for you, is trustworthy, you can be yourself around them and not have to worry about being judged, you should appreciate him/her. Tell that person how grateful you are to be best friends and to have him or her in your life. A real friend actually cares.

Temporary friends come and go as they please. They’ll talk about you behind your back and smile to your face – unlike a real friend. The question you ultimately ask yourself is, “Would I rather have everyone like me, or would I rather have that one special friend who actually cares?” Give thanks and be grateful for your real friends. Don’t take them for granted. Some people would love to have even one.

“Aha” Moments Illustrate the Power of Gratitude to Fuel Nonprofit Movements

By Nora Firestone
ThankingOfYou
This article was recently published in Inside Business magazine.

Feeling mid-lifeish back in 1991, local newspaper reporter Marjorie Mayfield Jackson sensed the tug to “make a difference” somewhere in this big world.  So she reflected in her quiet little corner of it for six months, watching the mullet jump, “the great blue herons stalking the wetland grasses” and the night herons roosting in her mulberry tree from her yard on a cove of the Elizabeth River.

“I felt privileged to live in a very beautiful, very special corner of the Elizabeth River . . . where wildlife seemed undisturbed,” she recently told me, but “at the same time it was very painful to know that this was such a dirty river, the fish had cancer.

“Over the course of the six months,” Jackson shared with Mutual of Omaha CQ insurance company’s Aha Moment film crew in June, “I just came to this realization (that) what I really wanted to do with my life, what would really make a difference, would be to clean up the river.”

So Jackson quit her job to found the Elizabeth River Project, with three other volunteers, and has since grown the organization to engage more than 200 businesses and schools through its River Star initiatives for watershed cleanups, marine habitat restoration and ongoing stewardship of local waterways.  Since ’97 River Star Businesses “have cumulatively reduced pollution by more than 215 million pounds . . . and have restored or conserved more than 1,100 acres of urban wildlife habitat,” Jackson said. E.R.P. recently launched the River Star Homes program, bringing residents of the watershed onboard.  The “over-arching goal,” Jackson noted, “is to make the Elizabeth River safe for swimming and fishing by 2020.”

The 2011 Aha Moment tour will feature inspiring, life-changing “Aha” moment stories, taped inside the campaign’s mobile film studio during 25 stops nationwide, including those of 44 people in Hampton Roads, Va., recorded during the June 13 and 14 landing at Norfolk’s Waterside.  Folks can view those at: http://ahamoment.com/moments/search?page=1&search[q]=&search[tour_stop]=25

Organizers contacted many of us directly, having searched in advance for locals who they thought modeled positive action and might inspire others with personal insights.

I felt honored when they asked me to share the inspiration behind the creation of ThankingOfYou.com, the Web-based forum for posting and receiving messages of thanks for the people who’ve made a difference in our lives.  The deepest sense of gratitude, I believe, thrives at a level whereby one has recognized the goodness in someone or something, affirmed the significance of that goodness in one’s own life, and strives to honor that affirmation by acting accordingly for the benefit of oneself and of others.  It’s important to express it and it’s important to receive it.  Gratitude’s a powerful motivator.

I call it the Transistor Virtue because in cultivating that deepest sense of gratitude one becomes intentional in receiving the goodness as meaningful and switching it to a path of amplification.  Like the sounds of music, spoken poetry or even herons on the river, this experience moves people to think, feel and act.  I’ve long proposed that “gratitude is the most sustainable and renewable of all human resources” for its inherent power to spark positivity and naturally fuel its continuum.  And just as I’d suspected, so many “Aha” movements have been inspired and fueled by the power of gratitude and the subsequent desire to make a difference in the lives of others.

“I think gratitude springs from love and wonder,” Jackson said.  “I was motivated by a mix of gratitude—for the solace and the beauty and the unending wonder of (the Elizabeth River)—juxtaposed with a sorrow, a shame and awareness of a need that was not being addressed.

“To come from a place of gratitude is to come from a place of grace, instead of from a place of anger,” she added.  Fear and anger “motivate for the short term, but only love motivates long-term change.

“Love spawns gratitude, or vice versa.”

A blend of fear, disappointment and, yes, gratitude, inspired now-retired Chesapeake police captain Gene Saunders to establish Project Lifesaver International, CQ a rapid-response lifesaving program that provides the technology, education, training and network necessary for successful search and rescue missions involving children and adults who are prone to wander.

Saunders recalled “several (cases) where we were unable to find them” back in his days as a standard search and rescue specialist.  “It keeps coming back to you,” he said.  “When you have an unsuccessful search, that weighs heavy on you.  It’s just a tremendous, draining, depressing feeling.

“Then you see the uplift on people’s faces, and the appreciation,” when their loved ones have been found, he said.  “And that’s just fuel for the soul.”

That fuel sparked the impetus of Project Lifesaver in 1998.  The organization, now affiliated with 1,200 law enforcement and safety agencies within 46 states and abroad, just celebrated its 2,400^th rescue.

But it hasn’t been easy, Saunders said.  He encountered mostly nay-sayers at the start and plenty of obstacles to his overall vision along the way.

“There’s always some mountain to climb,” he said.  “There are some low times when you wonder, ‘Why am I doing this; why am I fighting so many battles?’”

But Saunders has a passion and he’s been able to remain focused on those people and agencies that’ve supported his mission.

“Project Lifesaver is not a one-person show,” he explained.  “It takes many people to believe in what you’re doing and jump in with both feet.”  He feels deep gratitude for the support they give “because they don’t have to,” he said.  “That’s when you feel a different level of elation, or gratitude. You’re grateful because this person believes in you without any (apparent) reason.”  In other words, it’s a gift—not necessarily earned; not guaranteed to offer the giver anything in return.  Except, maybe, the heartfelt gratitude of beneficiaries.

As letters arrive from families and agencies, thanking Project Lifesaver for its immeasurable gifts, that “keeps you going on that level that you need to be on,” Saunders said.  “When you have a passion for something it takes a lot of energy and you don’t realize it.  The voice of gratitude re-inspires you; it just kind of rejuvenates you.  It’s the fuel that keeps me going.”

Musician MaryAnn Toboz’s “Aha” moment landed by that very expression.

“Thank you,” an elderly woman had told her after Toboz had performed at a local nursing home.  “Please don’t forget us.”

Toboz felt the depth of appreciation from a lonely resident and decided she wouldn’t forget them.  Instead, she’d build a community of like-minded artists to provide frequent and purposeful entertainment to elder seniors.  Since establishing Tidewater Arts Outreach in 2003, Toboz’s mission has grown to incorporate an array of traveling performing and visual arts programs, serving about 70 locations throughout Hampton Roads, including nursing homes, shelters, crisis centers, hospitals and programs for people with special needs.  Rather than perform to their audiences the artists engage them.

“It’s evolved to really sharing the gift of (creating) art to self-express” and to help professionals “understand the value of art in healthcare,” Toboz said.  “Artists have gifts and they’re meant to be shared.  And they know it,” she explained.  “When you’re able to share a gift, and when it’s genuinely appreciated, that is so rewarding.

“You have to be in tune with what people want,” she added.  Therefore, the expression of gratitude is a guiding force.

Toboz said she works hard to show gratitude to her board of directors, artists and all who “give so much” to help to sustain her mission.  “(Gratitude) has changed my life,” she said.  “I’m so grateful to be in this position” to help others.

Nora Firestone, nfirestone@verizon.net

Nora Firestone is a Virginia Beach-based journalist and the founder of ThankingOfYou.com, the free Web-based forum for posting and receiving stories of gratitude (messages of thanks) to recognize, affirm and honor the people who’ve made a difference in our lives.  She can be reached via e-mail at nfirestone@verizon.net.  Visit www.ThankingOfYou.com for more information and to thank those who’ve made a difference in your life.

Teen Perspective: Gratitude for Family Forever

Thanking of You

Family Forever

By Cheyenne Grimstead
Teen correspondent

What is family? Family means love, support, memories and growth.  A family is a group of people who are related to one another.  No matter how big or small, a family is a family.

Kids with dreams need support.  They should be able to turn to their parents/guardians without hesitation.  If your family is supportive, you should be thankful because as painful as the truth is, some parents aren’t supportive enough.  If you are as blessed as I am to have a supportive mother, you should really be thankful.

A casual “thanks” has meaning, but a sincere “thank you” has feeling and recognition of how much the action taken really means to you.  Families should have built-in support, but sometimes you might have to talk to them about how you’d like them to help.  Families require communication.  Talking to your family and letting them know you appreciate their “I love you” s, help and support will make them thankful that they are related to you.

Cheyenne

Who have you been meaning to thank?  Who on Earth has been Thanking of You?  Gratitude affirms life.  Express yours at www.ThankingOfYou.com

 

Deep Sense of Gratitude Fuels Aha Moments Everywhere

Thanking of You

Aha Moments
By Nora Firestone

On June 13 I shared one of my Aha Moments for Mutual of Omaha insurance company’s national “Aha Moment” campaign.  Organizers contacted me in May, asking if I’d share the inspiration behind the creation of ThankingOfYou.com, the Web-based forum for posting and receiving stories of gratitude (messages of thanks) to recognize, affirm and honor the people who’ve made a difference in our lives.  I was able to record a short bit inside the very cool Aha Moment mobile film studio, which they parked at Norfolk’s Waterside for two days during this year’s tour to 25 cities.  You can view my video here (click to view).

Though, in fact, several specific Aha Moments inspired the creation of ThankingOfYou.com:

I experienced one of my first memorable Aha Moments back in elementary school in Plainedge, Long Island, during the much anticipated Chicken Fight games in P.E.  Up against Paula Z., the toughest girl in class, I was sure my friend had me beat from the get-go.  Paula and I scrambled up and down those ropes that hung from the ceiling, each trying to knock the other off, while the whole class cheered for my opponent.

“Go, Paula!” rang through the gym continuously, not one of our classmates routing for the sure loser.  We all knew Paula would win, but I fought hard anyway.  “Go, Paula!” they cheered, as my toes skimmed the mat below.  With every shout for my opponent’s victory I inched closer to defeat.  I remember being tempted to forfeit.

Then I swung into the stare of Mr. Chuck Sybil, our gym teacher.  Mr. Sybil’s eyes locked on mine and he began to chant quietly, only to me, “Hang in there; you can do it.  Hang in there; you can do it.”

I realized that I had an important decision to make: To whom should I listen? Who should I believe—him or them?

Suddenly, the voices of the nay-sayers seemed to fade to mute, their enthusiasm for my opponent replaced a-hundred-fold by the one-man rally for my super powers.  I suddenly knew: The outcome of this challenge depends at least as much on me as it does on my opponent or any other circumstance.

So Mr. Sybil’s rally became my own.  With one instant recharge of my internal battery; one defiant burst of I can do it!, I pounced on my unwitting opponent, sending her feet to the mat in a jaw-dropping victory for the sure loser.

Mr. Sybil jumped to a resounding “Yessss!” while the rest of us stood shocked.

From that moment on I began to understand critical principles that would shape me as I grew and steer me at the crossroads, one of them being this:

Throughout my life there will be people who believe in me and people who don’t. And I have the power to discern.  I get to choose that on which I focus.  Even if the ratio of non-believers to believers is a thousand to one, focus on the One.

This became an essential tool, one upon which I would call time and again as I grew—a gift I would open again and anew as I needed it.  Whenever I thought I was defeated I locked eyes with Mr. Sybil and listened to his voice until it muffled all the rest: “Hang in there; you can do it!” And so I did; and so I could.  I didn’t always “win.”  But I always grew—in strength, in confidence, in knowledge, therefore in gratitude for his faith in me.

The more I recognized and affirmed the value and relevance of Mr. Sybil’s gift to my life, the more I chose to honor it with action—often, when possible, for the benefit of others.

For years I’d told myself that one day I’d send him a letter telling him when and how he’d had a lasting, positive impact on my life, why it still mattered today, and how I strive to honor that gift by letting his contribution benefit others through me.  I searched for two years but couldn’t find him.  In April, 2008, I had another Aha Moment.  I realized how important this was; that the needs to express gratitude for the people who’ve made a difference in our lives, and for those who’ve made a difference to discover when, how, to whom, and why it mattered, were universal.  So I created ThankingOfYou.com, in honor of all who’ve made a difference in my life, to facilitate recognition and thanking of those who make a difference in the lives of others.

Mr. Sybil has since read his story of gratitude at ThankingOfYou.com and he contacts me periodically to tell me that discovering how he’s impacted my life has had a profound impact on his.  Learning how he’s mattered to a former student has affirmed and renewed his own sense of life’s purpose.  Due to a serious injury, Mr. Sybil’s life has been extraordinarily difficult for the past 15 years.  But he tells me that on the days when his toes are skimming the mat, and he’s tempted to forfeit, he reads his message of thanks again and calls upon that same powerful advice he once gave a hard-pressed kid: “Hang in there; you can do it.”  And so he does; and so he can.

An extension of my realization that the deepest sense of gratitude thrives on the level of honoring, or acting upon, the gifts we’ve been given inspired another Aha Moment: My proposal that “gratitude is the most sustainable and renewable of all human resources” for its inherent nature to perpetuate goodness and fuel its continuum.

Today when asked what it is for which I’m most grateful, I answer, “Ironically and paradoxically, I’m most grateful for my deep sense of gratitude.”

The “Aha Moment” film experience was great, very positive, and the recording team of Jessica, Natalie and Ben couldn’t have been more professional.  I’m not sure how they discovered ThankingOfYou.com but I’m grateful that they understand and appreciate the movement and have acted to help promote it and I’m honored to have been selected as a model–albeit small–for inspiration.

In viewing Aha Moments filmed by others nationwide I’m struck by the number of affirmations of the power of gratitude to fuel the continuum of goodness.  Quite simply, people seek to “make a difference” in the lives of others in honor of those who have made a difference in theirs.  Gratitude is an inherently powerful virtue, the expression of which amplifies and perpetuates the force of goodness–not only for the grateful but often for those whose lives the grateful touch.

Here are a few others from the Norfolk, Va., stop:
Tidewater Arts Outreach: Impacting the lives of others with her musical gift
Two Teachers inspired her life of creativity
Saving lives with Project Lifesaver
Photographing the good (Stephen and I work for the same newspaper)

So now I ask you: Who’s made a difference in your life?  Tell them and the whole world about it by posting your messages of thanks to those who’ve impacted you in lasting, positive ways at ThankingOfYou.com.

You’re amazing; now go be yourself,
Nora

Take the 2011 Effects of Gratitude on the Everyday Experience survey.  Its thought-provoking questions might just have an impact on your everyday experience.

The “Understated” Sentiment at a Habitat for Humanity Construction Site: Overwhelming Gratitude

 

Thanking of You

HAMPTON ROADS, VA–
     While scores of people tracked mud through her dining room, Kiska Morris of Virginia Beach, Va. looks overwhelmed.

     “I’m just so blessed,” she proclaims.  “I hope this type of thing will keep going on.”

     Morris, 33, had nearly completed 350 volunteer hours building homes for others with Habitat for Humanity of South Hampton Roads, the regional chapter of the volunteer-supported nonprofit which has built more than 350,000 safe, affordable homes for people worldwide.  She’d knocked down walls, erected siding, hammered, cut and trimmed her way to this sunny April Saturday which marked the ceremonial wall raising at the site of a planned four-unit townhouse where hers and three other families would now begin to build their own homes.  The wall, at the north side of her 1,100-square-foot unit, had been framed earlier by community volunteers inlcuding Habitat home owners; Virginia Wesleyan College students; employees of Bank of America, a longtime partner with Habitat for Humanity International and the provider of a $75,000 grant for this project through its Charitable Foundation; and retired military men and women who just can’t seem to resist letting the skills they’ve developed by virtue of hard work and the mentorship of their leaders be of service to others.  Once in place, the wall began to frame a new reality for Morris and her sons, Vidal, 18, and Keenen, 13, who Morris believes will come away from the whole process more “selfless” and motivated–small words for such powerful virtues.

     Hence, the underlying theme of the morning, as it has been at other Habitat construction sites I’ve visited, is gratitude.  Overwhelming, understated gratitude.  For God, for the volunteers, for Habitat staff with whom the beneficiaries report having built life-changing relationships during the course of the typical two-year lead up to building their own homes.  They praise God for “the blessing.”  They praise the volunteers for their time and energy.  They praise other supporters for the money, services and materials they’ve donated or discounted.  They praise the forces of goodness that somehow brought them all together.  Then they praise God again, for the opportunity to continue to work with Habitat even after their homes have been establilshed and settled so that they may be this same kind of blessing and help make a profound, lasting difference in the lives of others.  That concept, by the way, is a perfect example of my longtime proposal that “gratitude is the most sustainable and renewable of all human resources.”

     Why do I describe the expression of gratitude at a Habitat site as “understated”?  Because the verbal statements are brief: 
     “I want to thank God.” 
     “We want to thank every single volunteer, business and organization who helped make this possible for us.”
     “I have to thank Habitat for Humanity for this awesome opportunity to own my own home.”   
     They know that thanking all involved would take more time and space than the media affords.  (You and I know that’s the need that ThankingOfYou.com fills.)

     But attendees can see so much more in their eyes and in their smiles.  We can practically hear the unspoken threads of their personal stories as their arms unfold and open like wings to embrace one another.  And we can feel the depth of their gratitude in their handshakes and hugs.  By the time Habitat for Humanity beneficiaries have reached this point in the process they’ve qualified for the opportunity to build and purchase their home, they’ve completed educational homeownership programs, they’ve volunteered hundreds of hours already and, typically, by virtue of the journey, they’ve cultivated the deepest sense of gratitude, having recognized the goodness perpetuated by Habitat supporters, affirmed the value and relevance of that goodness in their own lives, and chosen to honor that goodness by continuing to act, with their time, energy, love, compassion, hammers and saws, for the benefit of others.  

     I understand: It’s hard to find the words to express that level of gratitude on the spot when asked something as open-ended as, “How do you feel at this moment?”  But I have to ask.    

     Nearby, 17-year-old Tyreek Tinsley digs himself deeper into a hole.  He’s cool with it, and he recommends his friends do the same; youth as young as 16 may volunteer on job sites and younger kids help in other ways.  

     Tyreek’s grandmother, Virgia Green, 58, had applied to be a Habitat homeowner in 2009.  

     “It’s been very interesting,” she says.  “I’ve met a lot of great people and I’ve learned a lot of great skills.”  What’s surprised her most, she adds, “is that I’d be able to do all that I have done, persevere, and get to where I am now.  It’s a lot of work.”  She also believes that modeling these concepts will benefit her children and grandchildren–an opportunity for which, yes, she’s very grateful. 

     Together Green and Tyreek, who resides with her, have painted, measured and cut for trusses, helped install windows and handled power equipment.  “He likes the hands-on work,” Green notes.  “He’s been open to a lot of new things and he’s had a good attitude.”  Unspoken but understood is the value of these character-building ”tools” that he’ll carry with him for a lifetime. 

     This is South Hampton Roads’ first Habitat townhouse, says Helen Sommer, the chapter’s executive director.  The job site draws 20 to 40 volunteers at a time and utilities upgrades will benefit buildings nearby. About half the money has been raised for a planned August completion, Sommer adds; the organization still needed sponsors, volunteers and material donations to finish.   

     What’s unique about the multifamily build, Sommer says, is that “they’re going to be neighbors and they’re already caring for each other.”

     “The most exciting thing about the whole process,” declares soon-to-be homeowner Cherie Wilson, 35, in a combination of voice and American Sign Language, “is that it’s me building my own house . . . and that I can actually provide a stable home for my daughter.”

     What parent can’t relate to the value in that?

     “It’s mind-blowing,” Wilson concludes. 

     See that?  Put briefly and simply, it’s mind-blowing.  Why?  Because of the recognition and affirmation of the extraordinary value of the gift and the overwhelming drive to act in order to perpetuate the goodness.  It’s deep, awe-inspiring gratitude.  And, indeed, it can be “mind-blowing.”  Taking time to express it for all its inherent glory is like installing a little release valve.

You’re amazing; now go be yourself,
Nora

ThankingOfYou.com is the Web-based forum for posting and receiving stories of gratitude (messages of thanks) to recognize, affirm and honor the people who’ve made a difference in our lives.  Who have you been meaning to thank?  Who on Earth might be Thanking of You?  Gratitude affirms life.  Express yours at www.ThankingOfYou.com.

Gratitude: A Teen’s Perspective Regarding Job Market Challenges

Thanking of You 

Take the Time & Look Around You
By Cheyenne Grimstead
Teen correspondent

In the adult world, a job is a must-have. When you’ve worked at a job for a certain amount of time, you may suddenly notice that you’re bored with your everyday tasks. You drive by the people who are living under bridges and holding up signs saying they need food. Have you ever stopped to think – “I have a job. I have a house. I have food.”

If you haven’t, you should. One of the worst feelings in the adult world is losing a job. You feel helpless. You feel like you have failed yourself. When things happen, I always tell myself they happened for a reason. If you look at every situation in life from a negative point of view, you won’t see any reason to keep going. Your motivation will die down and you’ll start feeling like the world holds nothing for you but air to breathe and another day of the same thing to which to awake.

Everyone needs to be thankful for what they have. It’s okay to want a little extra every now and then, but when you become the person having a hard time looking for a job, you need to be thankful for the job you do have and then maybe start looking for another. Gratitude backs up one’s attitude toward life: if they’re genuinely thankful, they’re usually positive.

Positivity is a key factor into keeping a healthy relationship with those you are involved with, and also in showing how much you care and are thankful for even the smallest thing someone will do for you.

Has someone helped shape your perspective lately, enabling you to see and experience the more positive side of a situation?  It’s important to let that person know how his/her words or actions have made a difference in your life.  By doing so you’ll be giving the gift of affirmation.

Gratitude affirms life.  Express yours at www.ThankingOfYou.com 

Take the 2011 Effects of Gratitude on the Everyday Experience survey: www.surveymonkey.com/s/G33XMRN

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